Just before the 2014/2015 school year began, I started reading educator Parker J. Palmer’s book, The Courage to Teach. I first came upon the book as assigned reading at ROYTEC, but decided to take a second and closer look at it as part of my preparation for new students. Palmer’s approach to pedagogy is fascinating. The Courage to Teach is a book not only about teaching techniques, but also about the “identity and integrity of the teacher.” To him, teaching is more than just knowing your subject; you have to know your students and you have to know yourself as well.
While preparing for the new school year I was also increasingly aware of my own fear. I’d be presenting students with new material, practicing new techniques and I’d also be working one-on-one for the first time with two young boys. While I try not to reinforce outdated gender stereotypes, I am aware that my students come from various backgrounds and upbringings. I have worked with boys before, but always in large, mixed-gender groups. My one-on-one experience has been solely with female students. I feared I wouldn’t be able to hold the interest of a pre-teen boy. I also worried about my teaching materials – were they too gendered?
Palmer speaks about fear in Chapter 11, “The Culture of Fear.” My copy of this book is overrun with highlighted passages, but this is one quote that stuck with me: “…it is important to remember that fear can also be healthy. Some fears can help us survive, even learn and grow…My fear that I am teaching poorly may not be a sign of failure but evidence that I care about my craft. My fear that a topic will explode in the classroom may be not a warning to flee from it but a signal that the topic must be addressed.”
So I didn’t need to feel guilt or shame about my fear of working one-on-one with young boys; I needed to decode that fear and realize that I was afraid because I wanted them to have the best learning experience I could provide. I also needed to be aware, as Palmer points out, that students are just as afraid as you are. Of course, student fear has different roots than teacher fear. Some students, based on past, negative experiences, are afraid to make mistakes; they feel every answer must be correct and fear the repercussions of incorrect answers. It is up to the teacher, however, to help their students overcome and understand these fears, which is why I work hard to make sure my students understand that perseverance, and not perfection, is key.
I’m happy to report that by the end of the first session, my fear had gone straight through the window and the young fellas actually had some fun!